The REAL Strife of the Toddler Life

Holy Moly. Someone call for backup because we are in STRAIGHT UP, FULL ON, FOUR ALARM toddler mode over here. A year ago my mother-in-law handed down some advice that the newborn stage would be the easiest time of mommy hood. (My sleep deprived, un-showered, nursing-self gave her….well, not the nicest look.) Now I agree…the sleep, poop, eat, repeat process is definitely easier.

Greyson has found his little legs in the past two months and ALL….and I mean ALL… he wants to do is run around the house from one thing to the next. And toddler speed is pretty impressive. I’m over here like the hunchback of Notre Dame chasing him around and trying to prevent him from falling onto something dangerous. And apparently I’m failing at that because we’ve ended up with 2 bruised foreheads and a chipped front tooth.  This resulted in my hubby sanding the edges of our coffee table into rounded corners.

Nice and baby proof. And yes, that is a cowbell randomly lying on the floor.  Go Dawgs.

In a desperate attempt to gain back a few minutes of my day, we cleaned out our stairway closet, threw in some toys and added a baby gate. I feel like this is the most genius thing since Newton’s law. Or Wal-Mart Grocery Pickup. It’s a tie. 

And G actually loves it. I really think it stops him from walking so much that he can actually sit down and enjoy his toys! Jeremie and I call it “Independent Play Time.” It’s developmental. Wink.

The upside is….he can walk! Now I’m not as concerned about the ball joint coming out of place from Baby on a Hip Syndrome. The playground is a new outlet too, because he can run around ‘till his little heart’s content while I sit on a bench and breathe. And eat a snack without having to share it. Because apparently that's another toddler thing. They want everything on your plate. And that’s just not cool with me. I love eating off other people’s plates (my hubby’s pet peeve) but don’t touch mine because, yes, I plan to eat all of it.

Hiding things has also become a problem. Greyson is obsessed with swiping my spices. Which has taught me couple things: 1) CLOSE THE PANTRY! 2) I need to rearrange the pantry. (Or maybe I just need to baby proof better.) One day he somehow managed to sneak some spices into the backyard when we went outside to play. I thought I’d gathered most of them until I tried to make his teacher gifts the next Tuesday. (Of course I waited until the LAST DAY of Mother’s Day Out of the year to whip up four pumpkin breads.) It had already been a hectic morning so I about lost it when I couldn’t find the dang ground cloves. Then it hit me. I felt like a CRAZY person frantically searching in the backyard for my missing spice. Let’s just say the breads didn’t receive their eighth of a teaspoon of cloves. Hope they tasted good. (I finally found them last week under G’s crib…DUH.) We’ve also found my slippers in the bathtub, mascara in my hoodie pocket (that was missing for 3 weeks!), and most recently, the Apple TV remote in the hood of G’s little red convertible car.  And while I was at the doctor recently, my purse started singing familiar toy tunes. I scrambled to the bottom and found G’s Fisher-Price TV remote. I think he left it in there just in case I’d forgotten about him.

In another attempt to keep G still for more than two hot seconds, I’ve tried to incorporate some arts and crafts sessions. (And by some, I mean two.) Plus he comes home with cute little makings from Mother’s Day Out and his teachers will write on his report: “Greyson enjoyed making his stocking, today!” So of course, in full mom guilt, I thought maybe I was depriving my craft loving child from a creative outlet. So around Christmas I decided we were gonna craft it up. I had the fantasy of a gingerbread house and my sweet hubby told me I was setting myself up for failure. (I still bought one and yep, it’s still in the box.) So I Googled “Crafts for a one year old” and off to Wal-Mart we went! The goal was a foam snowman and a Christmas tree using a cork to blot on the ornaments. Easy enough right? Here’s what we ended up with.

A blind snowman and a bunch of paint everywhere. Pretty sure G was as terrified as I was. This week we tried a chalk tablecloth. FOOL PROOF. Right? Well, after I drew G a couple samples, he just wanted to roll around in the chalk and carry the colors everywhere.

And today he grabbed the real TV remote and quicker than two shakes of a lamb’s tail, he pulled up “Straight Outta Compton”. I don’t even know what that is….a movie?

But listen. Despite all the crazy, it’s worth every minute. The other day we came home from the arboretum and I looked down at my neon wrist band that allowed us into the children’s garden. It made me laugh because a few years ago, a neon wrist band on a Sunday usually meant that I had a SUPER FUN time the night before. But nothing can top this. It's such a joy and blessing to watch this child grow and develop a personality. I can’t wait to see where this adventure will lead next.

And where the tv remote is, because it’s nowhere in sight……..