Wednesday, April 12, 2017

The Day that Wasn't...A Tale of Bluebonnets and Back Seat Potties

Happiest of Hump Days to ya. We are officially entering Week Two of potty training, which has been less than thrilling and around here. And if I'm super honest, it's been really hard on me. When I say that, all my friends are like, "Oh goodness, what's going wrong?!"  So let me clarify.  Greyson is actually doing great and really catching on. He's acting like a two and half year old and sometimes doesn't tell me in time and has accidents. Other days he holds it for unimaginable lengths of time.

Unfortunately, I also tend to act like a two and a half year old sometimes and when something upsets my schedule and routine, I act like a total Eeyore.

I THRIVE on routine. It was just so easy when I could slap a diaper on that munchkin and go wherever, whenever.

We pretty much stayed home all of last week, like literally within a 20 foot proximity to the bathroom.  The whole premise of potty training is to be super intensive with EYES ON THE CHILD for several days so you can learn their signs, catch them in the act, and rush them to the potty immediately.

That being said, when the weekend rolled around, I was like GET ME OUT OF HERE. Pretty sure Greyson felt the same way. He had caught on to going in the potty, so we decided to head to Ennis for the Annual Bluebonnet Trails Festival.  I couldn't WAIT to hit the beautiful field of bluebonnets like we last year to snap some pics. Because last year's were PINTEREST WORTHY my friends.

Remember these?


And for the love, look at this....

We even snapped a family pic. Everyone is looking. Everyone is semi-smiling. Heck, everyone has PANTS ON. 

A mother's dream.  So it was reasonable to assume we would repeat this quality again, right!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....I CAN HERE THE HEAVENS LAUGHING RIGHT NOW.

First of all, let me just admit this publicly that I was already a little grumpy because I didn't feel well, hadn't slept well, and POTTY TRAINING Y'ALL. Secondly, my crew just wasn't in the mood to take pictures. J was already dressed.  He finally gave in (bless it) to putting on a neutral t-shirt, but couldn't find the ONE he had in his head. (I would fuss, but listen, aren't we always looking for that ONE SHIRT that we can't find?...I get it.) Then it just hit me how BADLY Greyson needed a haircut.  It's like I looked down and suddenly realized I was raising a sheepdog. I like my Southern boys clean cut. Therefore, every cute little outfit we tried to put on him just looked absurd.  Like a sheepdog in gentleman's clothing.

Now that we are potty training, it takes 472 times longer to get out the door. It's a totally different mind frame.  No more am I just checking to make sure we have diapers and wipes. I need extra underwear, clothes, baggies for accident clothes, the little potty itself, which we can't load into the car until G uses, in which we are WAITING for eternal glory for him to do. (He hasn't quite conquered squat and go mentality yet.)  When we finally left the driveway, we were all a little snappy and an hour later than planned.

The drive calmed us down and we were just ready to get on some country roads.  We planned to to the same route as last year and hit the big field first.  But when we turned off the highway, we merged with 5,342 cyclists who were participating in the Bluebonnet Festival ride.  And guess what their route was.  Y'ALL. I'm not hating on cyclists. I have many cyclists friends. Some are probably reading right now. But I am hating on the event planner of this ride. Because it wasn't genius to schedule the ride the same weekend as the festival when everyone wants to come down to Ennis and drive on the bluebonnet flanked country roads. After going TWO MILES PER HOUR for about 45 minutes, we finally got around the cyclists and moved on to a different trail.  We didn't even get to go to our field.  The other trail was beautiful, but there weren't really an public areas to get out and take pics.  Until I saw this.

Do you see what I see? A For Sale sign on a piece of property on a country road. 
I told J that it was FOR SALE anyway....surely they wouldn't care if we stopped and took pics? I added that Greyson probably had to potty for full convincing effect.  So we stopped, got out, and I sat G on the potty in the back while I got my tripod ready.  J knows what I'm thinking....I'm still set on my family picture.  And he's like: "No. You are not getting all that out. We aren't even supposed to be on this property." So here we are arguing on a dirt road with the tailgate up and our half naked child trying to use the bathroom.  Other bluebonnet finders were passing us by and giving us the raised eyebrow. In the end, J gave in to me trying to get a few pics of G, but the little sheepdog wasn't having it. So we headed on to the actual Bluebonnet Festival in downtown Ennis. By then, we were HUNGRY.  Scratch that, HANGRY. After shoving some corndogs down, everyone felt better and we enjoyed ourselves.  G started doing the potty dance but kept telling me he didn't have to go. Meanwhile, I'm eyeing all the closest port-a-potties which totally grosses me out, but where's the choice?

We finally left the festival thinking surely G would potty when we got to the car because we're rounding 5 hours now. And he's holding onto his pants for dear life. It's also past regular nap time. So that's awesome. We sat G in the car on the potty and NO GO.  Fine, we said.  We needed to stop at Tractor Supply on the way out of town for dog food anyway.  So we figured we could try again then.

I was JUST ABOUT out of energy at this point and super sad that we never even got a good bluebonnet pic. And Y'ALL. We rounded this random cul-de-sac behind Tractor Supply, and it was like the heavens opened and the angels sang. There, next to the dumpster, was the most charming patch of bluebonnets. So J was like: "Mama, here's your chance." So off went the ice cream stained tee and ON went the Easter button-up.

And while these are still unedited, they were pretty PINTEREST WORTHY wouldn't you think? 

You'd never know that THIS was the real was the real life version. 

Oh, and THIS TOO. 

Attempt #2 on the potty was a fail as well.
By the time we got to Tractor Supply, J and I decided Greyson wasn't relaxed with us just staring at him in the back of the car trying to pee.  So while J went in for the dog food, I set the mood. I turned on a movie, blasted the cool air in the back, and I sat in the front to give him some "privacy". 


J gets back to the car and I'm ticked.  It's been 6 1/2 hours and I can tell G needs to pee like a Russian racehorse.  And I broke the "mood" and was like "JUST GO ALREADY!!!" We didn't really know what to do.  I didn't want to get on the road for an hour and him just fill my new car up with pee. 

So I gave him ONE LAST chance and I took him into Tractor Supply, thinking maybe being in an actual bathroom would help. That plan backfired because he saw the live chickies on the way to the bathroom and cared about nothing else. So I lost it. J walked back in to check on us as we were walking out and I burst into tears. In the Tractor Supply. Farmer Joe and everyone else in Ennis that day say me LOSE. IT. J threw me the keys and I went to the car and bawled while he took Greyson to see the chickies. 

Can I just clarify that my crying was NOT because my child was holding it for 7 hours? Usually when a mom cries, it's NOT about one thing. It's about ALL THE THINGS. All the energy that has been poured out that week.  All the analyzing and over analyzing, and little failures and pee on your feet, and tantrums over graham crackers and 72 loads of laundry and Legos falling into poop and trying to stick to positive reinforcement when you just want to scream. My adrenaline was gone. So I cried.  

Jeremie came back with the little human dam and we headed back home. He had bought some Twizzlers in the store and threw one to Greyson...and I was like "Can he have that?" J just shrugged his shoulders and went with it. 

As we were pulling out we were trying to decide if we'd had a good day or not.  We weren't sure. You'd think I'd learn to expect the unexpected and hold my plans loosely with a toddler.  But I don't. I get my head and my hopes on something, and it's hard for me when it doesn't work out the way I envisioned!

Okay-so I know some of you mamas have "A Day that Wasn't".... and I'd love to hear about it!

Happy Hump Day y'all!

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