Oh my. Sleep training is such an opinionated topic amongst
the mommy hood. But, KNOCK ON EVERY PIECE OF WOOD IN AMERICA, Greyson is a
great sleeper, so I figured, what the heck, I'll share what we did.
I put sleep “training”
in quotes because honestly, I don’t think it was anything we did. I think we
got lucky. Of course we tried methods, but I’ve talked to a ton of other moms
who’ve tried the same thing and sleep is still just a tough concept for their little
ones. I bet my second one is gonna really show me whose boss.
I hadn't read the first word about sleep training before Greyson was born. (Actually I didn't read any
baby training books and had changed one diaper in my whole life. ) I know there
are a ton out there and I certainly solicited lots of advice from friends who
had gone before me in the black hole joyful journey of
sleep training.
Let's face it, no matter
WHAT your hospital experience was like, I’m convinced everyone comes home
utterly (no pun intended) exhausted. Next time, I'll sign whatever it is to decline
the hourly vitals checkups. I mean, I'm
still alive people, leave me alone. And NO ONE is gonna pull the guilt card
on me about sending my child to the nursery. I will physically, mentally,
emotionally, and spiritually (and financially) pour over this child for the rest of my days, so
the 48 hours that I spend in the hospital is not going to make or break our
relationship.
I'll never
forget the first night we brought Greyson home from the hospital. Of course I
was nursing him every 3 hours. But I remember putting him into the bassinet and
crawling into bed with Jeremie thinking we were all just gonna sleep like a
happy little family until the next feeding. Lawd have mercy. We had two
problems: 1) He wanted to "cluster feed"...aka....nurse ALL NIGHT
LONG...(it's a thing, Google it), and 2) He freaked out when we tried to lay
him in the bassinet because, think about it, he'd never laid on his back
before.
By 4:30 a.m., I had
totally lost my mind and went upstairs sobbing and handed the child over to my
mom and mother-in-law.
That day, we went on a
mission and purchased these:
|
| Summer Infant Swaddles. For those of you who think swaddling a baby is
torture, consider this: they've been all snug and balled up in the womb for 9
months and now they've got these flailing little limbs. I've read that for them, it's
like a falling sensation. Don't say you don't believe in something
until you're sleep deprived and desperate. |
I know there are several
brands of swaddles out there, but these seem to be the best fit for G. They
were snug and didn't ride up over his face, so I didn't worry about him getting
smothered. Greyson was 6 pounds when he was born so the Preemie size actually
fit him perfectly. We used these all the way up until he was a year old. They
even make kinds where their arms can be out when they start to roll over.
We also noticed that G
seemed to be calm in the Rock 'N Play when the vibrator was on. I LOVE the Rock
'N Play, but of course was nervous about letting him sleep in it. (Can't say that didn't end up happening though several times...again...desperation). Anyway,
Jeremie found this Summer Infant Vibrator on Amazon and it was the BEST $15 we
spent. It vibrates for about 15 minutes and turns off but can easily be hit
from the side of the bed of the baby begins to stir ; ). It REALLY seemed
to comfort G. It attached to the side of the bassinet perfectly.
Finally, Jeremie got an old iphone of ours and downloaded some soothing worship music. And
listen....G would sleep with that phone right by his head and it really seemed
to sooth him. It also served as some good comfort for mama in the tough
moments. ; )
Here was our result
after our Operation Sleepy Baby:
We decided to combat this back sleeping issue from the get go. So even
though it was tempting for us (especially the grandmothers) to hold him while
he napped, we swaddled him up and put him in the bassinet for most naps. Once
we felt like he was getting used to his arms and legs, I was more casual about
letting him nap in the Rock N Play since it's so easy to move from room to
room. Plus I weaned off of swaddling him during naps so he’d start to learn that
the swaddle meant “official bedtime” at night.
I want to be clear-even
though we tried some strategies, the first two weeks are sheer survival mode.
Days run into nights, there’s no differentiation, and quite honestly, it was
depressing for me. And even though I knew Jeremie was exhausted too, and
working so hard at his job, I would get frustrated watching him “get ready for
bed”, for a full night’s sleep with me not knowing what my night would be like.
About the time Greyson
hit 9 pounds, which was around 3 weeks, the doctor gave me the green light to
let him sleep however long he could stretch it at night...four..five….even six
hours! I almost squealed with delight! She did encourage me to continue
feedings every 3 hours during the day so his little tummy would be full for a
longer stretch after the “night/last feeding”.
Whatever stretch G did during the night, it seemed like we always fell
at 6:00, 9:00, 12:00, 3:00, 6:00 feedings. There was a short window where I was pumping and J would do the night time bottle, but at 8 weeks, G dropped the bottle like a hot potato, so it was back to all nursing for me.
In
regards to establishing the “night/last feeding”, I would literally set the
stage. I laid out G’s pajamas, his swaddle, the books we’d read, turned on the
lamp for soft light, turned off the big light, put MY pj’s on, etc. In my head,
it was bedtime. Looking back I think this really helped to train G what bedtime looked liked.
Around 3 months, we started thinking about moving G into his
crib. My sister-in-law had a super awesome suggestion of first moving him
across the room, which I’m so glad we did. It was totally different just not
having the bassinet right beside me. After about a month of that, we kicked him
to the crib and he did great. (Of course, the monitor helped tremendously.)
It seemed like we were in somewhat of a routine, and around 3 months, I
remember having the thought: “I might live through this.”
THEN….4 MONTHS. The 4 month sleep regression. It’s a thing.
Google it. In fact, I did. And when I started typing “4 month”…you know that
predictive search…it immediately popped up “4 month sleep regression.” It was
like newborn days ya’ll. And I don’t have any fairy tale advice, you just gotta
get through it. I’m sure it’s something very scientific and medical, we’ll
blame it on a growth spurt, because EVERYTHING can be blamed on a growth spurt,
right? Or teething.
One piece of advice the pediatrician DID offer was to NOT
nurse immediately before I put Greyson down. I was doing his pj’s, swaddle, nursing him, and literally putting him straight into bed.
She said you have to break their need to nurse to go to sleep. So I switched
the order to feeding, pjs, swaddling, stories/singing, THEN bed. (I mean think
about it in adult terms, we don’t put our pj’s on, crawl into bed, and eat
supper last, right? Even though that sounds perfectly heavenly.)
At 5 months, Greyson got better, but seemed to still be waking up
OFTEN, so I knew he wasn’t hungry! Since it was suggested to wait until 6 months to do the Cry
It Out Method, Jeremie did some research in the meantime. That research-loving man of mine. He found this thing called the "Camp Out Method". I didn’t sit
in a chair next to his crib, but essentially, it’s about soothing the baby as
SOON as they start crying to help them sooth themselves back to sleep. This was
a mental and physical dedication folks. As SOON as I would hear G, I’d book it upstairs into his room and rub his back or sing. After a couple weeks, I noticed I had
to go in less and less.
At 6 months, the pediatrician gave me the green light to let
Greyson cry it out. When I asked her
just how long I was supposed to let him cry, she said “Let’s just say I let my
child cry for and hour and half." I respect her and her kid doesn’t seem
emotionally damaged, so I figured we’d give it a shot. She also suggested
giving him a “comfort item” in his crib, so we picked up a stuffed lamb
(“Lambert”) at Kroger that day. Lambert has been a comfort ever since.
And that night, I put him down, and immediately left the
house to take Manny on a walk. Jeremie is stronger than me and could put up
with the crying. Shockingly, G didn’t cry any longer than 20-30 minutes for about 3 days. And just like that, he was sleeping for 10-12 hours. Yes, Please, and Thank You. I understand that CIO isn’t for everyone, and
doesn’t work for everyone. When that photo of the mom lying IN her little girl's
crib started floating around Facebook, I felt a little guilty. For about half a second. Every baby is
going to fight sleep. Heck, I still fight going to bed so I can watch just ONE
more episode of Friday Night Lights. ; )
Of course Greyson has weird nights where he wakes up randomly
for different reasons. But in general, he's a great all night sleeper, and
he’s slept LOTS of places…..multiple hotels, walk in closets, offices, etc.
Whatever method you do use, I can vouch for a routine……baby’s can feel it and
wherever you are, they can trust the routine!
I also WILL recommend the common advice of "sleep when the baby sleeps". At first, I felt like I had to get all this junk "accomplished" during G's naps. After a couple weeks of sleep deprivation, I was like BUMP THIS. Listen girls. You're hubby will appreciate you 50 times more if you are well-rested than if the dishes are done. That's what paper plates and your closest girlfriends are for. It's a season and you will get back to all the things you used to do. In the early weeks, I would even go to bed at like 6:30 to make sure I caught a couple hours sleep before the next feeding.
GOOD LUCK if you’re in this season, and trust me that it
doesn’t last forever. You WILL sleep again, Mama.
